Thank you for supporting me. I’m happy to say I left the hospital last weekend. Yay!! For the past 7 months I have gone through a lot of emotional pain and suffering. However, at the same time I could feel love and encouragement which has enabled me to be here today. I couldn’t have made it this far if it were not for the support of my family, girlfriend and friends from around the world. This has been the biggest challenge of my life and wasn’t without tough and sad times. However, this experience has taught me the importance of family, appreciation for the small things and love. If it weren’t for this illness I wouldn’t have been able to see these things and for that I feel happy.
The long battle ahead has just begun. Now I feel like I am at the start line of a race, waiting for a heart transplant (which could take over 3~5 years). When I left the hospital I felt happy but at the same time anxious and nervous. I think this is becasue I do not know what the future holds. However, I decided to never give up on my dreams. I will keep hoping and fighting for my future. My goal is far but I will never give up.
I am now on a journey for meaning. I want to understand my destiny and look for a reason as to why I got ill. Is it ture that everything happens for a reason and that if there is a god he has a plan?? Well it will be a long path. For now with the support of my family and Lin I will live well for today and my future.
~ Lindsey ~
I’ve been looking forward to DK coming home for months. He’s been through so much that these past 7months feel like 7 years. I know it’s not over and the hospital is always going to play a huge role in DK’s life but for now being able to leave the hospital is a huge step in this journey. No more hospital food for a while, no more old men farting, complaining and coughing up phlegm every other minute. I couldn’t be more proud of DK and his amazing/ supportive family for sacrificing everything for his health and happiness.
However, the day DK did finally come home to our new house wasn’t the refreshing, joyous occasion I thought it would be. Strange, although I knew it wouldn’t be trumpets playing and streamers flying with nurses lining up to open the doors for him and wave goodbye, there weren’t any feeling of relief as expected. DK and his mom also wore the same quiet, anxious expression on their faces. Suddenly I guess the reality of being left alone, away from the safety net of the hospital, monitors and nurses hit. We are responsible now. So what happens next? What do we do? I have no knowledge of this part and wasn’t alone in my confusion of mixed emotions. Going to the hospital everyday gave me/us a purpose I guess; an aim, a job, a destination. Now we are left to deal with normal life in an unconventional setting. Having a life while trying to maintain it is tricky. Although being out and about with DK feels extraordinary we are reminded of the limitations and dangers Dk faces. New trials and tests have now presented themselves like a hard smack on the back. Almost mocking us as if to say; ‘Yeah!? Now what are you going to do?’ And yet, with each challenge we learn a little more and become that little bit wiser. Therefore as failure is not an option what other response can we say other than; ‘I will survive this and be the master of my own destiny not a slave to it.’
In time things will get easier but only because we get stronger and more resilient to it.
There will good and bad days from here, but we endeavor to make the most out of this shitty situation presented to us.
‘Tomorrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms further…And one fine morning-
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past’”
–F. Scott Fitzgerald “The Great Gatsby