-DK- The way forward

Going to have an artificial heart operation tomorrow. I am pretty nervous and anxious, but this is a big challenge which I have to jump over for my future. I’m just at the start line now. 

I never imagined this situation would happen in my life. After I graduated University, I went to Canada (Calgary and Vancouver) for studying English and wrestling for a year and half. And after came back to Japan, I worked as social studies teacher and wrestling coach at high school for two years. I can remember all good and bad memories like happened yesterday. 

When I found out of my disease, I despaired of my life. When a doctor told me that I should have a heart transplant, I asked my family to leave the room, then I weeped uncontrollably. After a while my sister and dad sat down near by my bed without saying anything. My mom gripped my hand and said ‘Don’t worry, I will protect you no matter what happens’ 

Although I decided to struggle with my heart condition and tried to be positive, I still couldn’t accept what happened to me. There is a song ‘I dreamed a dream’ from Les Miserables. When I listened to the lyric ‘I had a dream my life would be. So different from this hell I’m living’, it was first time for me to cry aloud.

At first I believed that I would recover very soon, but it didn’t happen. After that I wanted to leave a hospital and just continue to live by taking medicine, but now that is not an option too.

Now I have two options . Having drops and staying in a hospital for years until a transplant or having an artificial heart operation, then go home. So I chose the second one. However there is no guarantee that I will be able to survive with an artificial heart until the transplant, because there are risks of complications; like blood clots and infections. Moreover the average waiting period to have a heart transplant in Japan is three to five years. This waiting list is getting longer. 

What I want now is just to spend time with my family, girlfriend and awesome friends. Also I want to find a job again and live as a normal person. 

Thank you to my family and girlfriend. I am a weak man. Sometimes I just pretend to be positive otherwise I will be so sad and go crazy. I wouldn’t be able to make this without their support.

I am so scared of having the operation tomorrow, but there is a no way to go back. There is only one way, and that is forward.

Aug 13 2015


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